you're my guardian dinosaur

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

somehow, I feel that I have really grown quite a bit for the past year.
and the catalyst for my rapid metamorphosis? it got to be benjamin loh yi kai.

I've got to admit that he is an influential and inspiring partner to be with. Doing away with all the serious talks and plannings for our future, he is a fun,caring,patient and loving cute boyfriend to hang out with. a rare gem who is always accomodating to my wants and wishes, 不得不承认我真的是捡到宝。必定是我前世积下的阴德。嘻嘻。

another reason could be that the life I am leading now. working full time and studying part life has indeed caused a great change in me. How to plan my time around work,studies,family，friends and myself is never an easy task. Who could say 'No' to fun and enjoyment? I can never do that in the past. But now, as reality and responsibility sinks in, I ani't got a choice. Do I ?

换个角度去看，这未必是件坏事。I am very sure that the current phase of my life would be a life-changing and enriching one. 虽然步伐很仓促，每天都得马不停蹄的向前冲，但我却觉得这样才过得更充实。It has been about a month since school started. I gradually feel that maybe it is not so bad after all to be studying part-time. Although lots of sacrifices have to be made, like less gatherings/dates/meet-ups etc, but I am very sure I can make do with it for the upcoming years. It has been such a long time since I last fell asleep during lessons/lectures and I must say that that is a great achievement. A GREAT LEAP FORWARD!! :D I love the way I stay focused and attentive during lessons and bringing the most of my lectures home. I have never disliked studying, it has always been a matter of which subjects only. Learning is a fun process, but sadly the delivery method has always stole the limelight, or should I say, decides the interest of the students.

Although I am lagging behind by a little now, but the drive within me is still raging on. And I hope this momentum never stops, even after I finish my studies. 我现在才知道原来能够做自己喜欢的东西，才是人生最大的原动力。

内涵内涵，顾名思义性格是由内而散发至外的。

二十多岁的人了，还过着懵懵懂懂的生活，看了叫人惋惜，但却绝对不值得同情。

我就不一样，二十年后的今天，我将会骄傲地对我的朋友，家人，和孩子诉说着我二十年前是如何充实地度过我的每一天，不让青春留白。

RAWRR!!! :E 12:46 PM

Sunday, October 04, 2009

i have been feeling rotten for the past 2 days.
for blewing my perfect weekend away.
i could have finished viewing my lectures/did some read-ups on my own or even start researching on my essay assignment. but i only did research for my assignment for less than 20mins;managed to view only 1 lecture and zero self read-ups.

what's more is i'm having a quiz on coming wednesday. i feel very 旁徨；力不从心 at times...i know very clearly what I have to clear on my to-do list. but i just cant help procrastinating. i fear that i would lag behind in lectures. i dont want to feel scared nor frightened when lecturers approach me during lectures to ask me if i'm alright. i want to regain that confidence and passion in studying. i dont want to return to that self which i had in JC. those days when i only knew how to have fun;cca;listen but dont understand and all those stupid copy-all-you-can during lectures. NOOOOO!!!! i dont want to do that ever again. that's the lousiest way to ever study.

i felt really uncomfortable when i sat in front of the tv and watched the hours passed. from 3 to 4,to 5,to 6...and all the way till 9pm before i started to do something constructive. i know i shld hv started work at 3,but my brain and body just didnt want to cooperate with me.plus the tv shows were really nice.X:

actually i'm secretly happy that the week-day show from 7pm to 10pm are lousy.that gives me a perfect reason to steer clear of the tv.i can easily spend hours on sleeping/games/tv. why cant i do the same for my studies? i know i can. 加油，加油，加油！！！

sometimes i wished he could hear the voice within me and provide the solace i need.

RAWRR!!! :E 11:48 PM